Monika: Today I am hosting Farrah Mills, one of the most inspirational ladies from the United Kingdom, a London model, singer, entertainer, former adult movie actress, and YouTube vlogger. We are going to chat with Farrah about her career, music and movies, collection of Barbie dolls, ups and downs of show business, as well as her fascinating journey to womanhood. Hello Farrah!
Farrah: Hi there!
Monika: How are you holding up in the crazy COVID-19 times? Do you have any new projects now?
Farrah: I think like everyone this has been a tough and challenging time. I have just tried to stay safe and keep my family safe. Currently I’m working on a new EP with my singing group called Tparty.
Monika: I guess this is the first trans ladies band in the UK, right? The band was formed in 2014 and it comprises you, Viktor Victoria, and Antonia Wood. Could you elaborate more on your music and the origins of the band?
Farrah: That’s correct. The name Tparty was originally a once a month clubnite in London that Viktor started, and me and Toni were hostesses. Then we all decided to turn it into a group instead. Our sound is a blend of pop, electro, R&B and ’80s. Viktor writes 90% of all our original songs and I arrange the vocals and harmonies.
Monika: The ‘Ladyboy Lover’ song, which you released in 2017, carried ‘a defiant message of Trans liberation, with the lyrics touching on the voyeuristic objectification of trans women and the refusal to be seen as just a fetish’. I like it so much!
Farrah: Thank you so much! We were worried that the title might offend people from our own community but we were trying to convey how we are seen through men’s eyes.
|Courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Monika: Your last single ‘Girls like us’ was a Trans Anthem celebrating the strength and resilience of the Transgender community, and was released in summer 2018 at Sparkle Festival in Manchester…
Farrah: That was a really important song for us. It had about three re-writes to get it just right, I also had to really get all the vocals exactly how I wanted them on this track. It is a great song to sing with a great message!
Monika: Tparty is not your first band, though. I watched your performances with Dee Chanelle as TransSisters…
Farrah: This is true. I was singing with my very dear friend Dee Chanelle first. We used to perform together for about 10-15 years together, and we are still close friends.
Monika: I assume not everyone has heard about your special collection of 1980-1997 Barbie dolls. Which particular dolls are you proud of? 🙂
Farrah: So I always wanted to collect vintage Barbies from my eras of growing up. I did have quite a few Barbies as a child so once we went into lock-down I thought it was a perfect time to start my collection. I have almost 50 Barbies now, and it is really difficult to pick just one but the Barbie that started me wanting to collect was ‘Happy Holidays Barbie 1992’.
Monika: Yes, the one with the gorgeous dress! ‘A holiday fantasy in sparkling crystal and silver’. You seem to be a woman of many talents. Which of your current or former professions do you regard as your favourite one?
Farrah: Many thanks! I’ve definitely tried my hand at a lot of different things. I’ve always thought it was important to try and be adaptable in this industry. I’ve always enjoyed the singing and performing, and vloging has been great too, as I enjoy giving my views and advice for our community.
Monika: I have read some of your interviews and what strikes me is that your transition was so smooth. We usually pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. We lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. In your case, this has never happened – a shy boy from Lewisham in South East London could transition into an industrious and attractive woman with the support from the parents, your brother and sister, and some friends. It is the success story that only few of us can dream of …
Farrah: I have been EXTREMELY lucky, and I never take this for granted, I honestly believe it’s the reason I’ve had so much self belief, because I was loved. It was still hard to transition on a personal level like everyone, but it was definitely made so much easier having all the support I needed!
Monika: In the time of your transition, did you have any transgender role models?
Farrah: Growing up, obviously Caroline Cossey, and then at the start of my transition it was Allanah Starr, an American adult movie actress, who I eventually became really good friends with.
Monika: I guess Caroline Cossey was an inspiration to all of us. In my 2017 interview with her, she said: “It gives me great comfort to know that greater good came from all the pain and suffering resulting from being outed in terms of spreading international awareness and in helping other trans people find their self worth, direction and life’s purpose.” Did you have a chance to meet her in person?
Farrah: I’ve sadly never met her in person. I was a small child during her career in the UK, and I believe she now lives in Australia? We have had a conversation online once though, which was really amazing.
|Courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Monika: How did you become friends with Allanah Starr?
Farrah: I first met Allanah through Joanna Jet. I was invited out to dinner with them along with Gia Darling as they were visiting London. I then found out that me and Allanah would both be featured together in Joanna’s new DVD. Allanah wanted to start doing shows at the Wayout in London, so I said I would arrange it for her. Then whilst she stayed in the UK for a couple of years, I was her personal assistant for a while, and we just became close friends after that.
Monika: When did you decide to be an adult movie actress? Who introduced you to the business?
Farrah: I decided to go onto porn to pay for my surgeries and to make a name for myself. I knew of adult film actress Joanna Jet. We went to the same trans club – the Wayout club in London, so one day I asked her if I could be in a film and it went from there…
Monika: Do you remember your first movie? Did you have any stage fright or butterflies in your stomach? :
Farrah: I will never forget it! I was really nervous but I’m very driven and I just kept the end result in my mind, and I just did it.
Monika: How big is your movie portfolio? Do you have your favourite movies?
Farrah: I did seven films released on DVD, and lots of online films for various trans porn companies over the span of 6 years. I retired from porn in 2009. I’ve actually never ever watched anything I’ve been in. lol
Monika: Can porn be regarded as art? If yes, how would you draw a line between such art and something that is far from it?
Farrah: Yes, porn is definitely art and a form of self expression and liberation. I don’t see it any differently from modelling and other films. It’s all acting and for all its negativity, it serves a purpose like all other entertainment.
Monika: You look like an 18-year old lady but you can boast a vast experience in the adult movie business? How has the industry evolved over the recent years?
Farrah: Thank you so much! It has definitely changed over the years first with the free porn sites, and now ‘only fans’ people want to see more amateur content, and it’s all very quick. So girls have to constantly make new content unlike when I was doing it you didn’t have to churn out so much so quickly.
Monika: In one of your YouTube videos, you discuss pros and cons of SRS in the trans show business. Some of my friends that did it have never come back to the adult movie business again…
Farrah: As a transsexual woman who is staying pre-op I know that a lot of my post-op friends have struggled with any adult work just because a lot of viewers prefer to see only pre-op girls. I guess this is the reality that we have to accept.
Monika: Is it possible to make both ends meet with being a transgender adult actress or it can be only a part-time job?
Farrah: I’ve been an escort for 17 years, and that has been my main income. You can definitely make a career in porn as long as you are willing to constantly shoot. I prefer things private with my clients.
|Courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Monika: There are many myths about the clientele of trans escort ladies. How would you categorize those guys?
Farrah: I’m very grateful for men who visit trans women, as they have earned me a very good living. Aside from a couple of horrible moments, I have built up a nice selection of clients who are respectful and generous. I would say that men who visit escorts are men who want to have a good time with absolutely no strings, and it’s that simple.
Monika: Do you sometimes escort women as well?
Farrah: I’ve never been with a woman, I never would. I am not sexually attracted to femininity at all, not even if a man wears women’s clothes. It is a turn-off for me sexually.
Monika: What do you do to take care of any security issues? How to avoid dangerous individuals?
Farrah: Always talk on the phone first to see if you are comfortable meeting someone. If you don’t like the sound of someone, trust your instincts, and don’t see them! Have a camera at the door or have someone in another room, just in case!
Monika: I did an interview with Yasmin Lee six years ago and she said to me that there is nothing wrong with doing porn but it closes many other career doors, as the world wrongfully judges such behaviour. Were you not afraid of this?
Farrah: I absolutely agree. I was well aware that it would ruin any chances I had of mainstream entertainment after I’d done films but my transition was more important, as I knew that as long as I got everything done, and I wanted it as soon as possible, I would be happy regardless. So here I am. I don’t regret my decision at all.
Monika: Some transgender activists say that transgender adult movies create a negative image of the whole transgender community. What would be your answer to them?
Farrah: I would say to them that some of us don’t have a choice. It’s also a much quicker way to get to where you want to be in life, and I didn’t want to go through normal work around the general public, which can be very rude and cruel towards trans people in everyday life. It’s just a job at the end of the day, the same way cis women do it.
Monika: Is The Wayout Club an important place for your career?
Farrah: Oh absolutely, the Wayout was the first place I went to in 2000 and it was where I started singing. In addition, it is still a venue where I perform at. I will be forever grateful to Vicky Lee (owner) for seeing something in me and giving me a chance.
Monika: Woow! So you have been on the stage of The Wayout Club for 20 years! Probably you danced and sang there more than one thousand times! Which shows did you like most?
Farrah: Yeah, that’s a long time! It’s gone so quickly, but I’ve loved every show I ever did there! We did an amazing Valentine’s Day show there once, which was probably one of my favourites.
|Courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Monika: Your YouTube channel is becoming very popular. Do you write scenarios for your videos or you just improvise?
Farrah: I started my YouTube vlogs actually to help me become more articulate when talking and because I hated my speaking voice I wanted to improve it, and over the years it really has helped. I always do one take and aside from a topic that is the only thing planned before I start talking, I want it to be honest and not seem rehearsed.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colours or trends?
Farrah: I love fashion, it took me a while to find my style, I like to be as classy as possible at all times, simple elegant clothes. I like to wear the clothes, not have them wear me. I like a mix of high street and designer fashion…
Monika: Do you often change your hair styles and experiment with make-up? I remember you with short blonde hair almost a year ago. You looked very cute …
Farrah: I do my make-up depending on a show, work or daytime, and I stick to what suits my face and just change the colours depending on the look. I constantly change my hair because I wear wigs all the time. I probably have about 30 different wigs in various colours and styles.
Monika: You have a perfect figure. What do you do to stay so slim?
Farrah: I actually hate working out so I just stick to a well balanced diet, and also a lot of the surgeries I’ve had, have kept my figure in place.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Farrah: Finding peace with yourself has to come from you. As I’ve got older I’ve completely accepted who I am. And I let go of the things I can’t change. I honestly can say I’m happy with who I am, and what I’ve done, but it’s been a journey.
Monika: Have you ever taken part in transgender beauty pageants?
Farrah: I think pageants are great but I’d never enter one as I don’t feel I need that personal validation from other people.
Monika: With your talent, beauty and intelligence, you would be a great actress in Hollywood films 🙂 Have you ever thought about acting in non-porn movies?
Farrah: Aww many thanks, I’ve definitely thought about it, but I’d say I’m definitely a better singer than I am an actress. ??
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Farrah: Love of family and friends is everything to me, it comes before everything. I have had one long term boyfriend in my life who I did love but that’s it. I’m definitely OK on my own, though that love is not a necessity for me but I’m open to it happening again.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Farrah: I feel like the current spotlight on trans women is a good thing but along with it comes more backlash. I feel the media likes to stir situations that don’t need to be an issue. I am worried about our trans youth rights for early transition at the moment.
|Courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Monika: Do you mean the recent ruling of the high court in the UK that children under the age of 16 considering gender reassignment are unlikely to be mature enough to give informed consent to be prescribed puberty-blocking drugs?
Farrah: Exactly that! It is ridiculous! I knew exactly who I was as a child, and I just didn’t have the information back then. The reason we have younger people saying that they are trans now is because they have more visible role models on TV!
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Farrah: A lot of friends are constantly asking me to write my life down, and I’ve definitely thought about it. It just depends how much of my private life I want out there as I’m a very private person, maybe one day!
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls that are thinking about the same career as yours?
Farrah: My advice for any girls who go down the route I did, be professional! Keep sight of your goals and don’t get caught up in drugs!
Monika: Farrah, I would like to thank you so much for sharing your story with the other sisters all over the world. Good luck with your singing career. And I hope to see Tparty at the BRIT awards next year! 🙂
Farrah: Thank you so much for having me, Monika. I’ve loved the chance to look back at some great moments in my life. We are currently trying to get one of our songs on Eurovision, so you never know! Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year to you and everyone. ??❤️
All the photos: courtesy of Farrah Mills.
Done on 11 December 2020.
© 2020 – Monika Kowalska